Embracing Love
by MissJessx3
Summary: Bella's past is weighing her down. Edward can't seem to forget his mistakes. Will they be able to find comfort in each other? Or will Edward push her away for good? BXE ALL HUMAN!
1. Chapter 1

Bella laid down on her bed, breathing deeply as she listened to music. When she felt herself getting into one of her moods as she called them, she would write. After she finished writing, the pain in her chest still raw, she would lay down and listen to music until she fell asleep. The pain in her chest could only be described as a gaping hole, which did nothing but allow air to pass through her heart. Of course, that was not what was happening, but that was exactly what it felt like.

She learned how to embrace this feeling, and chose to write as an outlet. She wrote her best whenever she got into these moods.

Her music was a way to calm her heart down, by reveling in the melodies of her favorite artists; Ingrid Michaelson would be first on her list. She loved to sing, but would not even think about moving her lips during these moments; her body would be too overcome to the music to do anything but listen.

Her life wasn't lived like this at all moments, though to her it felt like it. She still had friends, her best friend being Alice whom she had known since middle school. She was just more kept to herself than most of her classmates. That was alright by her though; she found more comfort in a book than she did in confiding to others.

She didn't know how she got to be the way she was. She didn't try to change it though; not because after 17 years you would think she couldn't change who she was going to be. Moreover, she didn't mind being the way she was. It was her life, and that was how she wanted to live it.

Her self confidence was low, but she didn't like letting people know that. She was nice when the time called for it, and shied away from any confrontation. Live and let live, as the saying goes.

The first day of school blessed Forks with no rain, not that there was sunshine either. Bella put on a pair of jeans, a blue tank top, and a little jacket to keep her warm. Her hair was up in a ponytail, because she couldn't bring herself to care how it looked. Her makeup was nothing more than brown eyeliner; black would have looked too guady with her pale skin.

She was glad to notice that morning that her schedule had been more agreeable than she would have thought. She had Trigonometry with Alice fourth period; giving her the opportunity to walk with her to lunch after class was over.

"You know Bella, those jeans make your legs look really long. That was a good choice on your part." She said as they sat down at their usual table. They had always sat at this table; everyday for the past three years.

"These are the jeans you bought me for Christmas, remember?" Bella replied, almost certain that Alice knew that.

"Yes, that's right. Well, your welcome." She said. Both girls laughed before beginning to eat.

"I'm guessing you didn't see the new kid, did you?" Alice asked her, after a few minutes silence.

She replied, "No, what's special about him? Besides the fact that we never get new kids?"

"He is gorgeous. He seems like he would be your type, you know?"

"How could you know that. You probably haven't even spoken to him."

"That doesn't matter. He is over there reading. He chose to read instead of eat. He sounds like your soul mate." She directed Bella's attention to a boy sitting across the room from them.

It was like she had never seen a man before.

His hair was bronze, though when the light hit it, it showed hints of red. It was disarrayed ontop of his head, making him look beautiful. His nose was, in fact, in a book; she was disappointed that she couldn't see the title of it from her seat. He was wearing a simple grey hoodie and jeans, which fit him perfectly. His body wasn't lanky, but he wasn't exactly a body builder. After another minute of shamelessly oggling him, she sighed, turning her attention to Alice.

"I'll never bet against you. That is my soul mate."

Of course, she didn't really believe that he was her soul mate. Was it possible to be bonded with someone so intensely if you hadn't even talked to them yet? She supposed not, but decided that maybe she would introduce herself to him by the end of the day.

"Go get 'em tiger! He's sitting all alone. Maybe you can go talk to him, see if he's interested in a little book loving later on?" She winked, causing Bella to blush.

"Why am I friends with you?" She muttered, picking her tray up and emptying it in the garbage can. There were only ten minutes left of lunch, and she chose to 'grow a set', taking deliberate steps toward the bronze haired God that graced Forks High.

"Hello." She said simply, taking a seat in front of him.

He looked up from his book in shock, as if he had never heard that word before.

_I just said hi, I'm sure he knows what that means… He reads, obviously he knows that when someone says hi he should say hi back. Maybe I got pizza sauce on my face. I should have never done this._

Her cheeks turned red as he stared at her for a few moments, before replying.

"Hello."

She exhaled, raking her brains for something else to say.

"You're new here." She said. She felt like an idiot for saying that. Of course he was knew.

"Well, seeing as this is my first day here, and I have never gone to this school before, it's safe to say I'm new. Was there something you wanted?" He asked, rather impatient.

She didn't like his attitude. It didn't suit him well. His face was gorgeous, his eyes a marvolus green, but his tone of voice with her was less than acceptable.

"I wanted to introduce myself. I figured it would be nice for you to know someone here." She said, her tone laced with hidden anger.

"In order for you to introduce yourself, you need to tell me your name. That's how it goes."

She stared at him in disbelief.

"No. I said I want_ed_ to introduce myself. I guess that was just a phase, the feelings gone now. Enjoy your book."

She got up and left, barely managing not to huff. She walked quickly to her locker, not even bothering to stop and see Alice.

Her friend, Emmett was at his locker a few feet away from her.

"Bells!" He said, as if he hadn't seen her last week at Alice's pool party.

"Hi Emmett." She said shortly, flinging open her locker door.

"Someone's in a bad mood. What's wrong?" He asked her, shutting his locker and walking over to her.

"I just hate people that can't accept common civility." She said.

"I'm always nice to you. I accept your kindness." He grinned, trying to make her feel better. It was typical Emmett, but she still couldn't stop the smile that graced her lips.

"I know. It's not you I'm talking about. It's that new kid! I tried to be nice to him and he was just being such a smart alec."

"Don't worry about him. That's my cousin, Edward." Emmett said, following her as she started walking down the hall.

"You're related to him? That doesn't even seem possible. You're too nice to share blood with the likes of him." Bella scoffed as they walked into English Literature together.

"He's not that bad, really. Sometimes he just has his moments you know? Don't be offended, he had a few choice words for me today when I laughed at his hair on our way to the bus."

"Of course you would make a joke at him. You never know who when someone will take your jokes the wrong way. But I still put up with you, for some reason." She laughed, taking a seat next to him.

"You put up with me because you want people to know you're friends with the sexiest man in Forks."

"Now you don't want to go around telling lies, cousin, would you?" Edward said smoothly, sitting down in front of Emmett.

"My mother told me not to lie, so I don't. There's a reason why Rosie loves me. Its all in here." He said, motioning to his chest.

"She never did tell me her name. Rose, that's a pretty name." Edward said, looking towards Bella.

"My name is not Rosalie. Or any shortened verison of that." She replied, keeping her eyes in her now opened notebook.

"You never did tell me your name."

"If I wanted you to know my name, I'd tell you."

Emmett laughed, putting his hand up to high five Bella.

"You go!" He exclaimed.

Edward looked like he was going to say something, but the bell had rung, effectively ending conversation.

That had been the extent of interesting events that had happened to Bella, all of which she relayed to Alice during their manditory gym class.

"I'm proud that you're starting to stick up for yourself. You know, though, that a man loves a chase. He's probably pining over you as we speak." Alice said, passing her the soccer ball.

"I would love nothing more than to never see his face again." Bella said, but couldn't help but smile at how well she had handled herself.

"I still think you should get to know him though. I mean, maybe there's just something bothering him and you caught him at a bad time?"

Bella considered this for a moment, but shook her head.

"No, I don't think that's the case. He seems too condesending for my liking."

"So you're sworn off of him now just because he slipped up a little? I'm not saying you have to marry him and have many sexy babies with him." Bella rolled her eys at this statement and blushed. "I'm just saying you should give him another chance if he approaches _you_ this time."

"Alright. If he tries to make nice with me, I'll agree."

Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

forgetting that she had ever tried to talk to him. She wanted to laugh at how frustrating it was to be near him, and yet not able to get him to speak to her.

She noticed that they shared the same book choices, and was dying to get his opinions on them. Not a word would be uttered towards her, not from him. Some days she stared at him, unabashed, but he didn't so much as glance at her. She didn't want to cave, knowing that that was exactly what he wanted her to do.

At the end of the second week of school, another week endured in silent torture from Edward, Bella finally gave in.

She ran to his silver Volvo, stopping him before he got in the driver's seat.

"Bella. My name is Bella." She said, slightly out of breath.

His gorgeous face lit up in the most perfect, imperfect grin.

"Bella. Beautiful." He said, gettting into the car. She moved aside as he drove away, her heart racing.

_He called me beautiful._

She never remembered having another man that was not related to her call her beautiful. The most she had ever heard was that she looked nice. But nice isn't even on the same scale as beautiful.

Her smile was constant the whole drive home.

She hummed as she stirred the pasta for dinner, her body radiant with joy.

_Beautiful. Bella. Beautiful._

"You're in a cheerful mood today." Her father noticed as he sat down at the kitchen table.

She pulled a plate out of the pantry, poured pasta on it, and set it down in front of him.

"How was work?" She asked, ignoring his observation. She handed him a fork before getting her own plate ready.

"It was work." He replied.

She knew that for the rest of the meal it would be pointless to try to make conversation; she was still too wrapped up in today's event, and her father wasn't much of a talker.

She excused herself to go shower and do her homework.

The rest of her nightly routine was less boring than any other day.

The weekend brought a bonfire at Emmett's house, to kick off the start of their senior year. He invited around twenty kids from their school, making Bella a little at ease. She wasn't very good at socializing, and even twenty kids seemed like a lot to her.

The only reason she went was because it was Emmett, she couldn't say no to him. She also couldn't say no to Alice, who insisted that it was their senior year and they couldn't miss out on the little things like this.

"I'm going to pick you up in an hour, okay? Be ready!" Alice said when she had called Bella, knowing that an hour would be plenty of time for her.

After a quick shower, she put on a pair of capris, and a nice, plain yellow t-shirt. It clung nicely to her torso, without suffocating her. She decided to wear her hair down, since it had curled nicely without her having to curl it herself. She didn't make a big deal about getting dressed up, but today she felt the need to look good because she would be hanging around people that weren't just Emmett, Alice, and Alice's boyfriend Jasper.

True to her word, Alice was outside Bella's house an hour after she called, honking the horn loudly.

"Bye dad." She said to Charlie who was sitting in the living room.

"Have fun." He replied. He didn't warn her about staying away from drinking, or anything of that sort because he knew the McCarthy's, and trusted them.

"Shut up!" Bella said as she walked out of the door, because Alice had still not stopped honking her horn. "I thought you believed in being fashionably late!"

"I do, but not when it cuts into my Jasper time." She told her, starting the car the minute Bella shut the door.

They chatted during the ride, only pausing in their conversation to sing a song that was on the radio. They reached Emmett's house in record time, much to Alice's pleasure.

"Thanks for coming!" Emmett said, jogging out to them.

"Like we would miss this!" Alice said, hugging him before she went to his back yard in search of her boyfriend.

"I'm glad you're here, Edward wouldn't stop pestering me about you. 'When's Bella coming?'. He's like a broken record. Idiot." Emmett said, guiding her to the back yard.

She blushed, unable to comment.

"Don't tell him I said that. I don't want to have him try to beat me up; it's a pathetic try." He laughed, before going into host mode. "The drinks are on the deck, non-alcoholic of course, my mom wants to say hi to you upstairs, and pizza will be ready in a half hour."

"Thanks Emmett. When you see Rosalie, tell her I want to catch up with her, okay?"

Rosalie was a freshman in college, and could only make visits on the weekends. Bella missed talking to her, and was eager to find out how college was from her perspective.

"Will do." He said, patting her on the back before walking away.

She looked around the party, and saw people talking in little groups. She wasn't sure what to do with herself. She knew most of the people there, but it would be a lie to say that she was good friends with them all. She decided, as lame as it was, to go say hello to Emmett's mother as a way to get out of socializing with the others.

She entered the kitchen through the sliding door on the deck, to be greeted with the sight of Emmett's mom cutting up fruit.

"Mrs. McCarthy." Bella said, letting her know she was in the room.

"Oh Bella! It's so good to see you. You look lovely!" She said, wiping her hands on a towel before hugging Bella.

"Thank you. Is there anything I could help you with?"

"Don't worry about any of this." She waved her hand, rolling her eyes like it was no issue. "Go and enjoy the party! I just wanted to say hello."

"It's not problem to me, really, I'd love to help." She offered, trying again to get out of the awkward situation she was in.

"I insist. Go have a good time. If you really want an out, you can always go to our library upstairs." Mrs. McCarthy said, winking at Bella. After ten years, she knew her better than her own father did.

"Thank you." She breathed, running up the stairs to the library. It was larger than your average bedroom, with bookcases surrounding the walls.

She ran her fingers along the spines of the books, trying to find one that she could calm herself down with for now.

She didn't notice that one of the two leather chairs in the room was occupied until she turned around and caught a sight that made her head go fuzy.

Edward was sitting casually in the chair, a book held near his face as he drank in the words like they were the meaning of life.

She didn't know if she should exit the room quietly, or say hello to him. He decided for her after a few minutes when he set the book down.

"You should be out enjoying the party. What are you doing here, Bella?" He said, his voice curious.

"I like to read." She blurted out. She took a breath before trying again. "I read all the time."

He smiled at her, before patting the chair next to him.

"This is the perfect place to read. Join me, please." He said, smiling wider when she sat next to him.

"What are you reading?" She asked.

He looked at the cover of the book, before stating that it was a Nicholas Sparks book that was suggested to him by his aunt.

"I love him. He writes very touching novels." Bella said in response. "I didn't peg you for a Sparks kind of reader."

"Neither did I." He said. "But this book wasn't too bad. I don't think I'd want to read another one. I prefer the classics much more."

"What authors?" She couldn't stop herself from asking. She was amazed that they might just read the same books.

"I did like a few of Jane Austen's book. My favorite book though would be Wuthering Heights. Of course, you couldn't go wrong with opening a book of Shakespeare's sonnets."

Her heart raced when he made his last comment. It had been her dream to have Shakespeare recited to her.

"You're too perfect." She said, blushing when she realized this was said out loud.

"I'm glad you think so. Did I tell you how lovely your hair looks this way?" He asked her. His hand swept a lock back behind her ear, and he smiled at the way her breath caught in her throat.

"Thank you." She said, turning her head away from him.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" He asked her, setting his book down.

She knew that she couldn't say no to him. When she agreed, they walked together down to the kitchen to tell Emmett's mother they would be back in a few minutes.

"Take your time." She winked at them, making Bella giggle uncomfortably.

He led her down to the street, and they walked along the road together.

"I want to apologize for my behavior that first day of school. I was out of line Bella, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take my emotions out on you."

She accepted his apology, and couldn't help but inquire about what was wrong.

He ran his hand through his hair before trying to anwser her.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you. It's, complicated. I'm not sure I can be friends with you, and at the same time I'm not sure I can stay away."

The look he gave her was pleading, trying to get her to understand.

"We can be friends." She told him, but it sounded more a question to her.

"I'm not a good friend, Bella."

"Don't you think that's my decision to make? I want to be friends with you."

He stopped walking, and turned to look at her.

"You don't know what your saying."

She was furious, partially at him, and partially at herself. She was throwing herself at him, and she felt stupid for being this way.

"Fine then. Let's go back and forget you ever talked to me." She said, turning around and walking back towards the house.

"I'm sorry." He said, grabbing her arm. "I'm sorry."

"Please, just leave me alone." She was frustrated, which made her eyes start to water a bit.

His face twisted up in pain, and he put his hand on her cheek to try and console her.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just trying not to hurt you."

"It's too late for that." She said, walking away.

That's when she knew that it would be stupid to spare another thought about Edward.

But Lord help her if she were going to try to stay away from him.

**AN:**

** hey guys, I'm back.**

**I want to write an Indie fic, so here it is!**

**Review and tell me what you think :)**

**I'm trying to make these chapters longer than my other stories.**

**Hope you liked it!**

**Love,**

**Jess**


	2. Candy

_I know you got plenty to offer, baby_

_But I guess I've taken quite enough_

_Well, I'm some stain there on your bed sheet,_

_You're my diamond in the rough_

_Darlin' I'll bathe your skin_

_I'll even wash your clothes_

_Just give me some candy, before I go_

_Oh darling I'll kiss your eyes, and lay you down on your rug_

_Candy; Paolo Nutini_

"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked her.

She shook her head in reply, not trusting her voice to speak.

"Do you want me to take you home now?"

Bella nodded her head, and walked with Alice and Jasper to the car. Alice said goodbye to him before getting in the car.

It was a silent ride on Bella's part, though her friend tried to get her to speak. When Alice pulled up to the house, she locked the doors, effectively trapping Bella in the car.

"I want you to know that you can call me anytime to night when you're ready to talk about this. I don't know what happened but I'd like to know."

"Edward is frustrating me. First he gives me attitude, then he tells me I'm beautiful, and now he doesn't want to be friends with me. I don't understand."

Alice nodded her head, glad to know what was bothering Bella.

"I'm not sure what to tell you. I think maybe you should just let him be. Obviously there's something going on, and he just wants to be alone. He'll come around eventually."

Bella sighed, shaking her head.

"It's not like I proposed to him! I just want to be friends with him." She didn't think her motives were horrible at all.

"Give it time, I'm sure everything will work out."

"Thanks Alice. I'll see you later." She said getting out of the car.

She rushed straight to her room, putting her headphones in her ear and crashing on her bed. She turned the music up as high as it could go to try and drown out the voices in her head.

_You're worthless. That's why he doesn't want to be friends with you._

_Who would ever like you anyway? Did you honestly think that maybe you could have a relationship with him?_

_Who could love someone as stupid, and socially awkward as you._

_You're hideous. _

She couldn't even cry at the horrible thoughts running through her head. Her heart had a gaping hole, threatening to engulf her entire being.

The only thought that remained in her head was that Casey had been right; she wasn't good enough for anyone.

_Bella had been six the first time her sister tried to kill her. She had lodged large grapes down her throat while their mother was in the kitchen._

_Her lungs were on fire, and her face had turned a sickly purple. Her mother came in the room just in time, saving Bella's life. She hadn't done anything to her sister to cause her to try and take her life, which made her question her motives._

_When Bella was sixteen, she had gotten asked to homecoming by a boy, Mike, in the junior class. Her mom couldn't fly to Forks from Phoenix, where she lived with her new husband, but she called to congratulate her nonetheless._

_He was supposed to arrive at six o'clock to pick her up, but by the time the night was over, she hadn't gotten picked up at all; she had gotten stood up._

_"I told you know one wants to dance with an unattractive loser like you. You have nothing to offer anyone. You're disgusting." Casey had said to her, when she walked through the door at midnight after the dance._

_Before Casey moved to college, she had tried killing Bella again. They had gotten into a fight about God knows what; the only thing Bella knew was that she had made her sister mad, completely by accident. Casey threw a vase at her head, causing her to go to the emergency room to get stitches in her head._

_Charlie had checked Casey into a mental institution, because she became an unrecognizable person. She was mean to everyone, and had a nervous twitch about her. She said things that didn't make any sense, and was beyond hope for them to take care of._

_Even though Bella knew that her sister wasn't in the right state of mind whenever she talked to her the way she did, she couldn't help but be haunted by her words._

_And those words made her feel just as worthless as they made her sound._

When she got up for school the next Wednesday, she still felt like a walking zombie. She barely spoke to anyone, especially Alice. At this point, Emmett had stopped trying to make jokes in order to make her smile, but offered her a brownie every day at lunch. She managed to get by, her life now a blur of classes, homework, and sleep.

That day at lunch, Alice quietly spoke to her.

"You're birthday is Friday."

_Could it really be September eleventh today?_

The days didn't mean anything to her, so it took her by surprise that her birthday was only two days away.

"I become an adult." She said, the first words she had spoken in a while.

"Yes. Now you can buy porn!" Emmett said, trying to make Bella laugh. She did, with ease. The fog in her mind seemed to be clearing, and she was now extremely aware of everything around her.

"This is going to be a great birthday now, then!" She said, trying to get back into the swing of things again.

"I want to have a few people over my house to celebrate. Just our friends." Alice said, smiling at Bella because she knew that now she would be over whatever was bothering her.

"If you want." She said. She didn't bother to fight with her over this; and if she was being truthful, she wanted to be around her friends again. She wanted to feel like she was normal.

That day in English class, she decided to try and make conversation with Emmett again. They talked about Rosalie, and what she told Emmett about college. Bella told him that she felt bad that she didn't get to say hello to her at the party, which was the only mention of that night that the two of them made.

She still couldn't help her face turning red whenever Edward walked into the room and took his usual seat in front of Emmett. She was undeniably attracted to him, a fact that she didn't like to admit. It wasn't right for her to like his physical features because she couldn't even be friends with him, let alone try to get into a relationship with him. She pulled out her book of Shakespeare sonnets, which was regrettably falling apart at the seams, and busied herself with reading each line carefully. After only a few lines into her favorite sonnet, Sonnet 115, the book was taken out of her hands, by Emmett.

"You know Bella, I never understood how you could read this stuff. Half the words don't even make sense, and the other half end in 'st' and 'th'. It's not even English!" He exclaimed, flipping through the pages.

She laughed, her teeth showing in a wide smile once she finished laughing.

"You just don't know how to appreciate his writing." She said simply.

"Whatever you say." He replied, handing her the book back.

"He writes lovely sonnets. I assume he could write a whole book of them just on the beauty of your smile." Edward told her, the first words he had spoken to her since Emmett's bonfire.

She looked at him incredulously. After he told her he couldn't be friends with her, he was now going to try to flirt with her? She didn't understand him, and wasn't sure what an acceptable response would be.

"You know what happens when you assume. It makes an ass out of you and me." She told him, opening her book again.

She had the urge, the strongest urge, to look up from her book and find satisfaction in his expression, but she kept her head down until the teacher started class. The teacher had announced that they would be spending the entire class period reading Macbeth; Bella's least favorite Shakespeare play.

She somehow managed to make it out alive after English, only to face a horrible scrimmage of soccer in gym class. She had fallen three times, one of which happened when no one was around her. Luckily, the embarrassment was over sooner than she thought it was, and it was time to head home.

When she got to her rusty red truck, a gift from Charlie for her senior year, Edward Cullen was leaning against the front of it with his arms crossed on his chest. He didn't look mad at all; he actually had the nerve to grin at her when she walked up to him.

_What the fuck?_

"Hello?" She said, standing a few feet before him.

"Hi, Bella. How was your day today?" He asked, setting his hands to grip the car behind him.

"It was fine." She didn't want any of this civility coming from him, especially not now. She wasn't going to entertain him by asking how he was; at this moment, she couldn't care. She wanted to get away from him before she started making a fool of herself by trying to flirt with him.

_Flirting- do I even know what that is?_

_Oh yes, Alice and her wonderful tips. Fml._

"My day was great, too, thank you for asking."

"Honestly Edward, I'm sick of your mood swings. What do you want?"

When she said this, he let out a sigh; the smile dropping from his face. He took a few seconds to think of what to say, obviously not sure of a response.

"I want to be friends with you." He said slowly, pronouncing each word carefully.

"Why should I believe you? You told me before that you didn't want to be friends with me, and I'm sure you didn't change your mind."

"I'm not lying. It's not that I didn't want to be friends with you, it's that you shouldn't be friends with me. You'll end up regretting it."

She threw her hands in the air, her anger flaring up.

"Yes, I know. I've heard it before. I don't understand why now you want to be friends with me."

He ran his hand through his hair, before speaking so softly she had to strain to hear him.

"Because I can't keep myself away from you. Everything about you makes me want to be near you. I won't fight myself any longer."

She stood still, her mind turning. She took a deep breath, her face flushing, and began to speak.

"Then let's be friends."

It was as simple as that. She didn't want to argue with him; she didn't want to bring up his past words. The only thing she wanted was to be in his presence as long as she could. She wanted to know more about him, and this was the way to do it.

"Just like that?" He asked, a smile on his face.

"Just like that." She repeated. Her lips turned up in an involuntary smile, one that almost mirrored Edward's.

"Thank you, Bella." He said, standing up straight. "Good-bye." He brushed his hand against hers as he walked away to his car.

She got into her truck, and started laughing at the turn of events that happened today. It was almost as if they never had that fight weeks ago. It was a start-over, so to speak.

When she pulled out into the parking lot, Edward waved at her and smiled from his Volvo. She waved back, smiling larger than he was, if that was possible. The ride home was spent with her singing along to every song out of the shear happiness she felt.

When Friday came around, Bella was really anxious for the entire day to be over. She didn't particularly like birthdays, because she didn't find a reason to celebrate the fact that she was born. She knew she was born. She knew she was getting older, so what was the point in making a huge deal about it?

She was nervous about the 'party' tonight, too, even though it was going to be her friends. She didn't want anyone to not have a good time; she wasn't one to throw big parties that are talked about for the next week at school. She hoped that Alice had everything figured out, like the good friend she knew she was.

She expressed her worries to Alice at lunch, only to have her roll her eyes.

"You should be living this up right now, you're eighteen! Bella, you should know by now I've got this covered. You don't have to fret; just show up at my house and hour early… no, just come at five o'clock. I'll fix your hair and everything."

Bella finished chewing her pizza before replying.

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

"No problem. Trust me; I'm going to make you look gorgeous for the party. Your hair is going to be perfect."

"Oh, but there is no perfecting perfection, Alice." Edward said, standing next to where she was sitting, across from Bella.

Bella blushed, earning a wink from Alice.

"You do have a point, Edward." She said, turning around to look at him.

He nodded his head, sending a crooked grin towards Bella.

"Hi." She said, not sure what to say. He laughed, making her feel ridiculous for not being able to make conversation with him, especially because all he did was grin at her. She wondered what would happen if he touched her; how badly her body would react to him.

He thought she was the cutest thing when she didn't know what to say.

"Hello, Bella. I was wondering if you would like to accompany me for lunch." He said. He didn't ask, and Bella was certain that was because he knew that she would go with him.

"Actually, I'm content here with Alice." She replied coolly.

He laughed, walking around the table and pulling her chair out for her. He grabbed her tray and began walking back to his table.

"You know you can't say no to him." Alice said, waving her hand to shoo Bella. "Just go."

She walked quicker than she normally would as she made her way to Edward's table. When she got there, he was reading his book; she couldn't help but notice that he smiled widely when she approached him. She sat down across from him where he had placed her tray.

She pulled the book away from his hands, marked the page, and set it down next to her tray.

"I'm here." She said.

He smiled, resisting a chuckle.

"I can see that. How is your day?" He asked, crossing his hands on the table.

"It's fine. I can't help but think that you didn't ask me to sit here just for you to enquire about my day."

She felt nervous sitting across from him, because now there was a pressure to make conversation, which she didn't feel confident in doing. Especially not with him, for just his presence made her head swirl.

"I just wanted to sit here and talk with you. That's what friends do, right?" He said, taking a drink of water. "Do you mind if I ask you questions? I'd love to know what goes on inside that pretty head of yours."

She blushed, as she always did when he complimented her looks. He leaned across the table, and glided the back of his hand across her cheek.

"You're blush is exceptionally wonderful." He said, his breath fanning her skin.

"That wasn't a question." She said, trying to unfog her head.

He laughed, and sat back in his seat.

"Alright then, tell me about your family."

She didn't know what to say, this being a sore subject to her. She looked down in her lap and muttered;

"I have a dad; my mom moved to Phoenix."

He lifted her chin up with his finger, leaving it there for a few seconds.

"Why did she move to Phoenix. I know Forks isn't the greatest place to be but, you're here, and so is your father."

"I'd rather not talk about it." She said, effectively ending that conversation.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm here." He told her, making her smile.

"Thank you."

After a short pause, Edward picked up his questioning, barely giving her time to answer one before he asked another. Some of the questions were random; her favorite flower, her favorite movie, her favorite color. She blurted out green for the last one, blushing because if anyone else would have asked her, she would have said red.

"Why would you be embarrassed about liking the color green?" He asked, noticing her blush.

"I don't have to answer that one."

"Please, I really would like to know." He said, dazzling her.

"It's the color of your eyes. It's beautiful." She said, looking down at the table.

"Thank you." He said, smiling at her before asking her about where she would like to travel.

The line of questioning continued all the way into their English class, a fact that Emmett didn't miss.

"Holy shit! You're actually talking to him, Bella?" Emmett said, plopping down in his chair.

She turned her head, and rolled her eyes at him, before answering Edward's last question. He had to stop his interrogation once class had started. That didn't mean that after class he wasn't going to question her. He had walked her to her gym class, stringing his questions along.

"Well, bye." She said as he stood outside of the girl's locker room door.

"I'll see you after gym." He said, brushing his hand across her cheek like he did in lunch.

She felt light and almost dizzy as she changed for gym. She could still feel Edward's hand on the back of her cheek, which spread warmth throughout her body. The knowledge that he would be waiting for her after gym made her dress quicker, and anticipate the end of class much more than normal.

She didn't pay much attention during gym class, which wasn't a surprise to her. When it was over, she hurried to get dressed. As she was putting on her jeans she couldn't help but wonder if he really was going to be waiting outside that door for her. Maybe he was just lying, trying to get a reaction out of her after he bathed her in all of that attention. He didn't seem like one to play a cruel joke like that, but from prior experience, she knew not to have any expectations.

He was true to his word, though, she found out after she opened the door to see him standing there, his back against the wall. He was in the same position now as he was when he was leaning against her car. Her heart stuttered as she walked over to him.

"How was gym?" He asked, taking her book bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

"It was…gym." She said, rubbing her wrist. She had fallen down, and sprained it a bit.

"Did you hurt yourself?" He asked, his eyes never leaving her wrist.

"I'm fine, I just fell." She mumbled. He took her wrist in his hand, and gently made circles with his thumb over it.

"I hope you don't make a habit of hurting yourself. I like you better in one piece." He said, opening the main door for her.

"I hate to disappoint you, but I fall pretty much all the time."

He had continued walking with her to her car, setting her backpack in the passenger seat. He then jogged over to the driver's side and opened the door for her.

"Thank you." She whispered, letting him help her into the car.

"Your welcome." He said. "And Bella? Happy Birthday." He squeezed her hand before walking away to his car.

She smiled to herself, and couldn't help but think that turning eighteen would be the most memorable birthday she's had so far. And the day wasn't over yet.

**AN:**

**I'm not going to lie, i'm sorely dissappointed. This story is getting a shocking amount less reviews and alerts than my other stories. I actually thought this was going to be my best. I'm going to ask anyone reading this; DO YOU GUYS EVEN LIKE IT?**

**This story is coming along so much easier to write because I actually know what I'm doing!**

**That part about bella getting grapes shoved down her throat actually happened to my sister's boyfriend. It was his adoptive brother though. They haven't heard from him since he moved out when he was eighteen so… it's okay! ******

**I also decided to add lyrics at the beginning of each chapter just because i love music, so thats where i'll get the chapter titles from..even if they have nothing to do with the chapter.**

**If you're reading this, thank you. And I'd love to hear your thoughts about this.**

**And I'm curious…are there any Rob haters out there? Cause I know at the beginning of the twilight movie making people were like "OH HES GOING TO BE A HORRIBLE EDWARD!" and now everyones like "I wish he'd take me to bed" hahahaha. Or, maybe you guys think that there could've been a better Edward. Is that possible? You tell me.**

**Love you guys!,**

**Jessie (Jess)**


	3. What if?

_What if it takes your breath?_

_When you can hardly breathe_

_What if it makes you ask how you could let it all go_

_What if what I want makes you sad at me_

_Is it all my fault? Then let me fix it please_

_Cause you know that I'm always all for you_

_What if; Safetysuit_

It was ten minutes before the party was about to start, and Bella was walking frantically around Alice's living room.

"Why did we even bother to set this up? I know no one's going to come. They'll blow me off, saying something to the effect of 'Well, it's just Bella, I mean…."

Alice clamped her hand over Bella's mouth, effectively stopping her rant before it got too out of control. She knew whenever Bella got started on these long expressions of her worries, it could last for well over five minutes.

"Your friends love you. They will all be here. It's not even six o'clock yet. Take a deep breath, and get a glass of water, too."

Bella did as she was told, her hands shaking as she held her cup under the sink, pouring water into it. She took a large gulp of it, making her feel a little better. When the doorbell rang, it made her jump, water sloshing out of her cup. She took a few more deep breaths before walking into the main hallway where the front door was.

Alice had opened the door for her, revealing Emmett and Rosalie, who were carrying two gift boxes.

"Rosalie!" Bella shouted, a huge smile on her face. Rose handed Emmett her box before giving Bella a hug.

"It's been too long!" She said. "College is so boring without you guys there!"

Bella agreed, turning to hug Emmett. He had set the gifts down on the side table before hugging her.

"Happy Birthday, Bells." His massive arms were crushing her, but she didn't mind.

"Please tell me that whatever you got me is perfectly PG-13. My dad would not appreciate porn being brought into the house." She teased him, remembering their conversation earlier at lunch.

"Damn. I guess I'll have to return it." He said, rolling his eyes. They laughed, because sometimes Emmett was just a huge goof-ball.

Alice led them into the living room, as the doorbell rang again.

"I'll get it!" She said, rushing to the door. "I bet its Jasper!" She mumbled excitedly.

Bella sat down on the floor next to Emmett and Rosalie, unsure of what to say to start conversation.

"So what's the plan for tonight, birthday girl?" Emmett asked, putting his hand on his girlfriend's knee. Rose smiled up at him, and then looked at Bella.

She didn't really know what Alice was planning, so she told them exactly that.

"You know Alice, it's whatever she had planned to do."

After Bella had said this, Alice walked in the room, grasping Jasper's arm. He wished her happy birthday before sitting down with Alice. They had made a circle by the way the group was sitting, and they began talking about anything and everything.

It was nice to have everyone together again, but Bella couldn't help but be unsatisfied. She wanted to ask Emmett if Edward was coming, because she couldn't think of anything else she would have rather had then for him to be there with her. There was no way of easily slipping the question into conversation, without hinting at her attraction to him.

They decided to play twister, because it was a favorite game of the group. They always played it whenever they had parties. Bella opted to be the spinner for the first tournament so that she could be as injury-free as possible.

Emmett got out the first round against Rosalie, which he complained about. He claimed it "wasn't fair that he got distracted-her chest was right in his face!". He took a seat next to Bella, as he watched Rosalie compete against Alice.

Bella figured that if any time was a proper time to ask Emmett about Edward, this was it. After announcing that the spinner landed on left foot blue, she turned to Emmett and smiled.

"Do you know if uhm, Edward is busy tonight?" She asked, her voice wavering.

"Does Bella have a little crush?" He teased her. He poked in her the ribs like she was a little kid.

"I was just curious to see if he was coming to the party, that's all. I didn't want him to feel left out." She said, proud of her exceptional lying skills; especially because it was very spur-of-the-moment.

Bella spun the spinner as he answered her.

"I told him about it, but I'm not sure if he's coming. He's probably in the library reading some nerdy book, or getting off on music in his room." He laughed after he said this, which ended any further questioning on Bella's part.

After Jasper was deemed twister champion, Mrs. Brandon came in the room and told us that the pizza was ready. Bella was surprised how fast the time was going, and realized that she felt comfortable around her friends still. It was turning out to be a good birthday.

"This pizza is the best pizza in the world. I think I'm going to take this upstairs and…"

"Emmett!" Rosalie said, smacking him on the back of the head. "Not appropriate talk at dinner." She scolded him, making them laugh. Sometimes it seemed she was more his mother than his girlfriend, but Bella would never doubt how much Rosalie really loved him.

Bella ate her pizza in silence, mainly because it was so delicious. She tried to shy her mind away from thoughts of anything outside of the room and her party, but that wasn't working out too well for her. After her second slice of pizza, and Emmett's eighth, they were done eating.

Alice's mother brought out a nice cake and set it in front of Bella. It was circular, and had "Happy 18th Bella!" on it in yellow gel. There were also flowers on the cake, no doubt a request from Alice. Mrs. Brandon had also put nineteen yellow candles on the cake, and was lighting them, too.

"Nineteen candles! You're old as dirt!" Emmett said.

"Not really," She replied, "The nineteenth candle is for good luck. I'm not too old yet."

"You don't worry about your age until you turn thirty, dear; life's better that way." Mrs. Brandon laughed, lighting the last candle.

"On the count of three." Alice said. "One, two, three!"

They started singing Happy birthday to Bella, and it was funny to her that she could distinguish every person's voice. Alice's was a light soprano tone, which almost sounded like bells. Jasper was more of a tenor, and had a sweet voice. Emmett was baritone, and slightly off pitch, but it made her smile anyway. Rosalie had a loud alto voice, though it was high for an alto.

When they finished their song, Bella thanked them.

_I hope that things fall into place for me this year._ She wished.

In one breath, she blew out all of her candles. Everyone clapped for her, which made her blush.

Mrs. Brandon dished her out the first piece of cake, and then gave everyone else a piece.

It was delicious white almond cake, which practically melted in her mouth. When she was halfway done with it, the doorbell rang. Her stomach got jittery, because her brain had pounded out the thought that maybe it was Edward throughout her whole body. She was disappointed when she heard the sound of Alice's father.

"I found this young fellow outside, he claimed to be here for the party, albeit a little late." Mr. Brandon said, walking into the kitchen.

Her heart was pounding so hard, as if trying to break through the skin and jump out at Edward.

Edward.

He had walked in behind Alice's father, waving nervously at the group.

"Happy Birthday, Bella." He said, his voice smooth, hiding his nerves completely. "It looks like I came at a good time I guess." He chuckled anxiously, pulling a chair out and sitting down across from her.

"Thank you for coming." She said, her smile almost blinding.

Mrs. Brandon had set a piece of cake down in front of him, and he thanked her for it before addressing Bella.

"There's nothing that could have kept me from this." He winked at her, before taking a bite of cake.

Bella smiled into her lap, trying to hide the effect his words had on her. When she managed to look up, Alice was looking at her too with a knowing smile on her face.

"Would you like to open gifts now?" Alice asked her, once everyone was finished with their cake.

Bella groaned, as she usually did when anyone talked about gifts. She was very awkward about accepting things from others.

"I'll take that as a yes." Rosalie said, smiling as she got up from the table. Emmett went with her to help her carry the gifts in from the side table at the front door.

"You don't like getting gifts?" Edward asked her, his brows scrunched on his forehead. He looked confused.

"Not at all. I've always been weird about getting gifts. I don't like it when people spend money on me."

"Even for your birthday?" He asked.

"Especially for my birthday. I don't get older by choice, so it's not an accomplishment or anything good that I've done. Why should I get gifts for just being alive?" She asked, the argument she made every time someone asked her about her opinion on birthdays.

"You're a very interesting person, Bella. You never say what I expect you to." He told her, smiling brilliantly. She blushed, and turned her head to see Rosalie and Emmett walking into the room with presents in their hands.

"Open mine first!" Alice said cheerfully, grabbing a package from Emmett's stack.

Bella did as she was told, being careful with the box. She smiled when she opened it to see a large set of ten frames, connected, with pictures filled of her, Alice, and sometimes Emmett and Rosalie.

"You can hang it up in your bedroom, and take it with you when it comes time for college. By then we might be able to add different pictures to it. These were just a few of the ones I have." Alice explained.

She absolutely loved it. It didn't look like it was a million dollars, and it was beautiful. She loved how sentimental the gift was. She couldn't wait to hang it up in her room.

"This is amazing!" She said, giving Alice a hug. "I love it, thank you!"

"I bet you do, I mean just look how handsome my face is. If you ever need money, you could sell my picture for hundreds of thousands of dollars!" Emmett said, admiring the pictures.

"How can he talk when his head is six inches up his ass?" Edward asked. Everyone laughed, especially after Emmett threw the nearest object at Edward, which was a napkin. It missed, horribly.

"I'm sorry your jealous of my beautiful face, Edward." Emmett said, crossing his arms on his chest and looking towards the window.

"Why would _Edward_ be jealous of _your_ face?" Bella asked, and then clamped her hand over her mouth. She let out a nervous giggle when she realized what she said.

"There's a compliment somewhere in there, I know it." Edward said, looking at her. "Thank you."

"That's cute, Bella. Now open my gift!" Rosalie said, thrusting a red wrapped box at her.

The next half hour was spent opening gifts, all of which were pleasing to her. They were simple, like a pretty necklace, or a twenty five dollar gift card to the bookstore, but they were all exactly what she wanted. She noticed that Edward didn't get her a gift, and wondered if maybe he didn't want her to get the wrong impression by getting her a gift.

They were all headed into the living room to watch a movie, when Edward pulled Bella aside.

"I noticed that Alice has a wonderful back porch, would you like to join me on it for a few minutes?" He asked her, his hand warm on her arm.

She looked at him, and then back to where the group was walking, trying to figure out if it was okay to leave them.

"I'm not taking you away forever." He said. Her mind thought something else from that statement, making her a little sad.

"Okay." She whispered. He led her through the kitchen and out the back door to a lounge chair on the porch.

It was then, in the dim light from the porch lamps that she drank in Edward's appearance. He was wearing dark jeans, which were snug but not tight, with a white shirt underneath his grey pea coat. His hair was a disheveled mess, but that was when those coppery locks looked best. She couldn't help but be drawn to the firm square line of his jaw. His face was so heart wrenchingly beautiful.

"I wanted to give you your gift in private, because I didn't want the others to make jokes at me about it." He told her, reaching into the pocket of his coat.

He pulled out a small, gold wrapped box, and handed it to her. She hesitated a moment, only to catch her breath, before she carefully unwrapped the gift.

She opened the white box to find a gorgeous silver heart necklace, with a very intricate flower designed onto it in green and light pink. There was tiny, single diamond at the tip of the flower.

He coughed, suddenly nervous about his choice in gift before explaining himself.

"When I saw this, I knew I wanted to give it to you. It's selfish of me to say so, but it's there, close to your heart, as a constant reminder of me. If you don't want it…"

"Of course I want it, Edward. It's stunning!" She exclaimed, taking it out of the box. "Would you mind putting it on for me?"

He took the necklace gingerly out of her hand, motioning for her to turn around. She did so, sweeping her hair in a bun so that he could clasp the necklace together without getting her hair caught. When he finished, she turned back around to face him. The necklace shown in the light, and she couldn't help but look at it and smile.

"Did I tell you how breathtaking you look tonight?" He asked her, sweeping a lock of hair behind her ear. When she blushed, he ran his hand across her cheek.

"No, but thank you. You really shouldn't feel obligated to say those things to me, though. I don't mind." She told him, uncomfortable with accepting his compliments.

He shook his head at her.

"I don't feel obligated at all. I only feel obligated to tell you what I'm thinking, and that happened to be on my mind all night." He told her, moving his hand down to hold hers.

His hand felt warm, and solid, which pleased her to no end.

"You're quite the charmer. I don't think you should waste it on me, though. Save it for all your girls." She said.

She didn't know if he was telling her those things because it was something he felt he should do since he's her friend, or if he really meant it when he said those things. Those were things you would tell someone you are interested in.

_Don't even get your hopes up._

He moved his face in, slowly, so that he was only inches away from hers.

"What if you're the only girl I want to say those things to?" He asked, a smirk growing on his face.

She didn't know what to say. She couldn't contain her mouth though, from spewing out words.

"What if I want to be the only girl that you say those things to?" She replied, feeling satisfied in her response. She couldn't let him know how hard it was to form words around him when he was this close to her. She wasn't uncomfortable in the traditional sense of the word. She was uncomfortable because she all she could think about was his lips on hers.

"Then I will gladly say them to you. But right now doesn't seem to be the proper moment to do so. I think right now would be the time to do things with our mouths that don't consist of talking." He told her, bringing the hand that wasn't holding hers to cup her cheek.

Her heart was running a marathon as he tilted his head, and leaned further into her. He gently touched his lips to hers, his mouth closed but amazing underneath hers. He went to pull away, so as just to leave a bare trace of his lips, but she had other ideas. Bella threaded her hands through his hair, and tugged his face towards hers. His lips were soft, and felt wonderful to her. She opened her mouth, and met his tongue in a passionate manner. He tasted like cinnamon, and her birthday cake, and an indescribable taste that could only be named 'Edward'.

She pulled her head back after she had run completely out of air; a vital essential she was starting to hate as of this moment.

"Wow." Edward said; a broad smile on his face. "That was not what I was expecting. I was going for more of a 'sweet, gentle peck.'"

She smiled too, unable to stop it from spreading across her face.

"It's like that song. Oh how does it go? 'Take an inch and I'll give you a mile'." She told him.

He chuckled, and squeezed her hand.

"Do you always quote songs after you kiss?" He asked her.

"I guess I do. I've never kissed anyone else before." She replied, looking down at their hands.

When she decided to look up at him, he had a look of shock on his face.

"That can't be possible. You're too gorgeous, too witty, to not have been kissed before."

"Well, I've just been kissed so… problem solved." She said, feeling embarrassed.

"Is it strange that I'm glad to be the only guy who has kissed you?" He asked her, running his left hand up and down her arm in an oddly intimate gesture.

"Getting possessive already, Cullen? We haven't even gone on a date yet!" She told him.

She could have hit herself in the head, repeatedly, with a cinder block. She felt bad about putting him on the spot like that, and immediately tried to correct herself.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to assume anything. I mean, I know it's just a kiss, and please, don't feel like you have to take me on a date or anything. I shouldn't have assumed that when you kiss someone it's…"

Edward kissed Bella in order to shut her up.

"Don't be ridiculous, we're just going to have to change the fact that we haven't gone on a date yet. Tell me you're not busy tomorrow." He said, planting kisses on her cheek.

She laughed internally, as if anything she had to do would be better than going on a date with Edward Cullen.

"Well, my laundry does need to be done, and my room, psh, that is such a mess." She said, teasing him.

He chuckled against her cheek, his breath fanning across her face.

"You're killing my ego. I just asked you on a date, and you turned me down." He told her, shaking his head slightly.

She moved her hand to his cheek, rubbing the stubble that was starting to form.

"I would never turn you down." She replied seriously. He moved his head up so that they were eye to eye now.

His green orbs were smoldering, and yet, she couldn't dare to think about looking away.

"Good. I'm counting on that."

**AN:**

**Hello anyone that is reading this.**

**Thank you all, all of you who review. For your support. It means so much to me, thank you!**

**I hope you liked the chapter.**

**I'm still upset about the lack of interest I'm getting in this story.**

**My other story had close to a thousand reviews, and of course I'm not expecting that, but not very many people are even putting this story as a favorite, or a story alert.**

**Guys, hello? Are you out there?**

**I don't even mind if you story alert this, and not review, I'm just asking for some interest in this story, I'm working extremely hard on it, and I believe it's going to be my best one yet.**

**I can't believe I have three chapters out in one week. School starts in like a week and a half, so the progress might slow then, but I'll still update atleast once a week.**

**I love writing these chapters, what can i say? LOVE EDWARD 3**

**It was funny, I was watching Goblet of Fire today while i was on the elliptical, and every time Cedric Diggory came on I screamed. haha. EDWARD!**

**Love you guys,**

**Jess**


	4. Masochist

You say

That my skin feels like, no one else's

That its different somehow

But I don't understand

Is a hand just a hand?

And you don't understand

When will it start my broken parts?

When will I feel all soft and

When will I feel soft, soft

Masochist; Ingrid Michaelson

When everyone left the party at midnight, Alice tugged Bella straight to her room. They were going to have a sleep over tonight, especially now, so that she could tell Alice all about what happened on her porch. It hadn't escaped her eye that Bella returned to the party with a new piece of jewelry on, and as her best friend, she had a right to all the gossip.

They had set a bowl of popcorn between them on the floor, and a few bottles of nail polish around them. After they gossiped and painted their nails, they would watch a movie.

"Alright, so tell me all about that fine piece of jewelry hanging around your neck." Alice said, brushing a dark red color on her nails.

Bella went into a full detailed story about what happened between her and Edward on the porch. She smiled the entire time, amazed at the day's outcome. Alice seemed to enjoy the story, too.

"That's so great for you! I really hope things work out with him. He seems like such a gentleman. Do you need any advice?" She gushed.

"Probably, I'm going to be so lost!"

"Just don't worry about it. He obviously likes being around you, so if you just act yourself, the date will go great. Just do whatever comes natural to you."

Bella rolled her eyes at this comment.

"If I did what I wanted to do, I would end up jumping him by the end of the night. Have you heard him speak? He's such a charmer!"

She was painting on a light pink nail polish, so that if it didn't match her outfit for tomorrow, it was barely noticeable.

"Do you mind helping me get ready tomorrow?"

"That's a given." Alice replied, putting the brush back in the bottle. "What time is he picking you up?"

"He told me before he left that he would be at my house at five o'clock."

"I have plenty of time then. For now, let's skip the movie, because you need your rest for tomorrow!"

The next day was spent with butterflies in Bella's stomach. She and Alice went over to her house after they had pancakes, made by Mrs. Brandon; they just couldn't pass those up. When they were at Bella's house, they kept busy by watching movies, eating, and singing along to their favorite songs on the radio. At three thirty, exactly, Alice rushed her into the shower to begin date preparation. Bella washed her hair, her body, and ended up shaving twice just to make sure she was accurate. When she got out of the shower, Alice handed her an outfit to wear for the night.

She was wearing skinny jeans, with a nice black top. The top had a lacy design on the back, and had a v-neck in the front that dipped modestly. She was still wearing Edward's necklace, seeing as she refused to take it off even just to shower. It was displayed perfectly on her chest, in plain view. She admired the necklace in the mirror as Alice began to straighten her hair.

Her hair was done after a half hour, and it was perfect. Bella never realized how good her hair would look if she were able to straighten it that well.

"Shit!" Alice exclaimed, rushing to get her make-up out.

"What?" Bella asked.

"It's ten 'til five!" She said, running back into the bathroom. "Don't worry; I'll be fast and efficient."

Biting back the urge to say 'That's what he said', she shut her eyes and allowed Alice to put on her top eyeliner. She never wore as much make-up as her friend would put on her when they were getting ready for a special event. She normally would wear brown eyeliner, and mascara. She didn't believe that spending a half hour every day putting on make-up was necessary. She knew she would never attempt doing what Alice did, because it would never turn out as good.

The doorbell rang a promptly five o'clock. Bella's make-up was done at this point, but she still needed shoes to wear.

"Take these!" Alice flung a pair of silver flip-flops at her feet. She slipped them on quickly, before walking down the stairs.

Alice wished her good luck before leaving. Bella stood at the doorway to the living room, where her father was talking to Edward.

"Where are you taking my daughter tonight, boy?" Charlie asked him, taking a sip of his beer.

"We're going out to eat, sir. I don't want to say where, because I believe she might overhear." Edward replied, turning his head to look at Bella.

Charlie huffed, apparently annoyed that he didn't get his answers.

"Are you ready to go, Bella?" He asked her, a smile lighting his face.

She nodded her head, smiling back at him. Edward stood up to leave, meeting Bella at the doorway.

"What time will you kids be home?" Charlie asked before they could leave.

"What time do you need her home, sir?"

Bella cheered internally. Edward was such a smooth talker.

"Ten. If traffic is bad, ten-thirty. No later." He replied.

Edward agreed, taking Bella's hand, and led her out to the car. He opened her door for her, making her smile. She turned around to thank him, and he pressed his lips to hers.

"You look absolutely ravishing tonight." He told her, helping her in. He shut her door, and jogged over to the driver's side.

He started the car quickly, speeding onto the road. She was suddenly nervous now that she was finally with him. She didn't know what to say.

"You're quite, darling. What's wrong?" He asked, putting his hand on the console, searching for hers. She placed her hand in his, squeezing it.

"There's nothing wrong. I've just been really anxious for tonight that I'm at a loss for anything to say." She told him. She knew that she wouldn't have a filter on her words when it came to him.

"I've been anxious, too. It seems the more I'm around you, the more I want to be around you." He told her, chuckling. "You're like a drug."

She laughed too, which broke the tension in the car.

"What drug would I be; heroin?"

"Yes. You would be my exact brand of heroin." He squeezed her hand. His thumb started rubbing circles on the back of her hand, making it tingle.

After a few minutes, Bella's curiosity got the best of her, and she had to ask where they were going.

"I can't tell you that; it will make all the romance of tonight be put to shame."

"How so? What do you have planned that's so romantic?" She pressed, dying to know what they were going to do.

"You're a curious little one, aren't you?" He asked her, rhetorically. "You'll see when we get there."

That was the end of that discussion, Bella decided. She turned up the radio so that she had something to focus on instead of stealing glances at Edward. He looked so gorgeous in his black shirt, jeans, and pea-coat. She was in love with that pea-coat of his.

After five more minutes, he parked the car, announcing that they had arrived.

"Wait in the car for two minutes, please. I have to set up." He told her.

"I don't think I can wait any longer!" She exclaimed, throwing her head back on the headrest.

Edward leaned over and kissed her, promising that he would only be two minutes.

She counted, and when those two seconds were up, Edward had opened her car door, helping her out. He took her hand and led her over to a blanket by the pond. He had taken her to the only park in Forks. It was beautiful, especially at this time of day. There were leaves scattered on the ground, hinting at the change of season.

"This is the sweetest thing you could have done, Edward. Thank you." She said, sitting down on the blanket.

"I wouldn't do anything for you that you didn't deserve." He told her simply. He opened a wicker basket, and handed her a sandwich. "You do, however, deserve better food than this. But, when you take a bite of it, you will fall in love. These are my specialty; hoagies."

"So that's what your intentions are?" She smirked. "Making me fall in love with you?"

She thought that maybe she was crossing the line with that one, but she had to know exactly what he was doing with her.

"I wouldn't need a hoagie to do that." He winked at her, making her laugh.

She took a bite of it, and sighed, because it really was that amazing. As if he needed another reason for her to want him.

"I feel like I don't know very much about you, Edward. Tell me about yourself."

He laughed. "Isn't that just a loaded question." When I didn't respond, he sighed. "I'm not sure what you want to know. I'm seventeen, eighteen in June. I like music, and books. I have plans to go to college, and yet I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I'm there. I also like this girl, who makes me lose my mind when she smiles at me."

Bella smiled, but couldn't refrain from asking another question.

"What about your family?" She asked. Edward's smile was gone from his face, and any traces of happiness. His face turned, if possible, even paler.

"I wish not to speak about that topic." He said. She felt horrible for bringing it up. She didn't know any better, though.

"I'm sorry." She told him, leaning over to cup his cheek. "Please smile again, I hate seeing you like this."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's just something I've had to deal with. When I'm ready, I'll tell you. I promise."

They finished eating. Edward tugged her towards him, so that her head was lying on his chest, their legs stretched out on the blanket.

"You've got a little something on your mouth." He said, putting his hand on her chin.

"What?" She asked, mortified. She reached her hands up, but with one of his, he pushed them down.

"My lips." He replied, kissing her.

The kiss was slower, and softer than she thought it would be. His tongue had lazily brushed against her lips until she opened them. His taste was just as good as she remembered, and his lips were just as warm. She tangled her hands in his hair, his gorgeous hair. She massaged his scalp as they kissed, causing him to moan. It was the greatest sound of her life. She would devote her time to finding other ways to make that delicious sound come out of his mouth.

He pulled her closer, without breaking the kiss, so that she was straddling him. His hands moved from her thighs, and traveled up to her hips. He slipped his fingers underneath the fabric of her shirt, massaging the skin. She groaned against his mouth, feeling as though she was going to combust with all the sensations he was giving her. When he pulled away, she felt empty at the loss of his lips. Her eyes were still shut, and her breathing was coming in heavy pants.

"You are incredible." He told her, brushing his fingertips over her cheekbones.

"You make me feel incredible." She replied, opening her eyes. He was smiling at her, his eyes hypnotizing her.

"I think we should make this official." He said, twisting her on his lap so that her feet were dangling off the side of his thighs.

"Is that a question?" She was feeling cocky, feeling the effects of their kiss underneath her. He rolled his eyes at her.

"Do you need me to properly ask you? You would put me through that torture?"

"Hmmm…" She said, turning her mouth to the side and touching her chin with her pointer finger. "Yes."

He laughed, rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

"Bella, beautiful, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

Her heart fluttered. It was as if this moment was surreal; a daydream in her over-exhausted mind. She couldn't believe that as perfect as he was, he wanted to settle for someone like her. Like hell was she going to pass this up, though.

"Of course!" She said, throwing her arms around his neck. "I can finally stake claim!" She said.

"You're so silly sometimes." He told her, kissing her cheek. "Let me get you home; I don't want the chief to find a reason to test out his gun on moving targets, specifically seventeen year old boys."

Bella got up off his lap, standing up. She helped him fold up the blanket, and carry it to the car. He opened the door again for her, before getting in on his side of the car.

"Do you think this will finally get easier now that we're a couple?" She asked him as he started driving.

"Do I think what will get easier?" He was a little confused.

"The need to be around you. Do you think it won't be as hard to deal with now that we know each other's feelings?"

He took her hand, and smiled at her.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to see you enough." He replied.

She leaned over the consol, and kissed his cheek.

"I'm going to love being able to do that anytime I want." She mused to herself. Edward heard, apparently, because he chuckled.

The rest of the ride was spent in a haze of joy; her thoughts mellow and peaceful.

"Oh, Bella. It is not easy for me to leave you. I had an amazing night with you, and I wanted to thank you for agreeing to be my girlfriend; I've never been happier." He told her, turning her head towards his. "I'm going to kiss you goodnight, and be at your house on Monday at seven o'clock. Sleep well, beautiful."

He made good to his promise, and kissed her sweetly.

"Goodnight." She whispered, getting out of the car. As she made her way to the door, she blew him a kiss before he left.

When she walked in the door, her father was sitting in front of the television sleeping. She kissed him on the forehead before going up to her room. She needed to calm down if she ever wanted to get sleep. She showered, brushed her teeth, and put on her pajamas before getting into bed. She thought the night through over and over again, coming up with the same conclusion every time.

She couldn't have pictured it any more perfect than it already was.

**AN: this chapter is a little shorter than the others by about five hundred-ish words.**

**But that's okay, right? ****J**

**I loved this chapter, and I really hope you did, too!**

**Tell me what you think.**

**OH!!! AND THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCH! I GOT MANY MORE REVIEWS/ALERTS! Way to be guys!**

**Love,**

**Jess**


	5. If My Heart Was A House

_Circle me and the needle moves gracefully_

_Back and forth; if my heart was a compass you'd be north_

_Risk it all cause I'll catch you if you fall_

_Wherever you go, if my heart was a house you'd be home _

_If My Heart Was A House; Owl City_

Bella rushed around her room, pulling on jeans as quickly as her body could. She had slept in, and only had ten minutes before Edward would be arriving to pick her up. She put on a t-shirt, as she made her way down to the kitchen for breakfast. She grabbed a poptart as she heard a knock on the door.

She slung her bookbag, and purse, over her shoulder before she anwsered the door. She was greeted to the loveliest sight, making her morning much better. Edward was standing there, a crooked grin on his face, along with the prettiest stubble she had ever seen. He was dressed in a light grey hoodie, and loose blue jeans; she didn't think he could look any more beautiful than she did now. Little did she know, he was thinking the exact same thing about her.

"Good morning, Bella." He said, kissing her gently on the cheek.

"You missed." She said, making him smile brighter. She smiled, too, as he kissed her on the lips.

He put her bookbag in the back seat of the car, before opening her door for her. He shut it, then jogged around to the driver's side.

"How was your weekend?" He asked her, pulling the car out of the driveway.

_Tell him you hung out with friends, or went to a party, anything but sat home and read, while thinking about him. Don't make him think you have no life._

"I read, and you know, did stuff. How was your weekend?" She asked, fidgeting with her hands. He would probably talk about the pretty girls he had come across, or the fascinating things he had done.

"I mostly wrote. Would it be horribly bold to say that I missed you?" He took her hand, and squeezed it once.

She blushed.

"No, I missed you too."

That made him smile, knowing that his feelings were reciprocated.

"Then we'll just have to do something together this weekend."

They arrived at the school, faster than she thought possible due to Edward's need to drive at least fifteen miles above the speed limit. He walked with her to her locker, kissing her goodbye, before he left to go to his homeroom.

The first part of the day was always a dragging experience for Bella. She tried hard to focus on the school work in front of her, but found that when it got too difficult, she would shift into thoughts about activities for her and Edward to do this weekend. She knew she didn't want to go to a movie, or dinner, because that's too impersonal for her. She wanted to get to know more about him, and she knew the perfect place to do it at. The only problem would be getting him to agree with her.

When lunch came around, she knew she had to stop at Alice's table to tell her that she would be skipping out on lunch with her to sit by Edward.

"I feel so bad about leaving you alone here, but it's best if I ask Edward when it's just us." She told Alice when she saw her in the lunch line.

"It's okay, I understand completely. Don't worry, in a week, Jasper's going to be transferring schools, so he'll be going to Forks High with us!" Alice's enthusiasm was immeasurable at this moment.

Bella continued a conversation with her, until they had purchased their food, at which point the girls split paths.

She found Edward already sitting at the table, his notebook in front of him. His head snapped up immediately as she sat down next to him.

"Hey." He said,putting his hand on her knee. She placed her hand over top of his, and repeated his greeting.

She couldn't touch her food, too anxious to ask him to feel the need to eat. He noticed that nothing had been eaten off of her plate, and inquired to her about this.

"Is something wrong?"

"I've just been thinking about this weekend." She said, and his face turned blank.

"You don't want to hang out with me this weekend?" He asked, his voice barely audiable.

"No! It's not that at all. I just knew what I wanted to do but I wasn't sure if you would agree to it."

He sighed, smiling before asking her what she wanted to do.

"You know I'd do anything if you wanted to do it."

_Yes, I want to do it. But I don't think now is the proper time for this._

"Well, I want to know more about you. I feel like I've only scratched the surface, you know? So, what I'm asking is; can we go over your house this weekend?"

His face turned pale, and he was quiet for a while.

"I'm not sure if that would be allowed." He told her, finally.

"Why not?"

"I don't think that my dad would be okay with that. If we're going to be doing actual, indepth talking, then my house would not be the best place to do it."

She was confused, thoroughly confused. If they couldn't talk at his house, behind closed doors, they couldn't talk anywhere. She was almost certain that her father wouldn't allow her and Edward to be alone at the house while he was fishing. She was dying for anwsers, though.

"Your dad wouldn't be okay with it?"

He removed his hand from her knee, running it through his hair. She missed the warmth of it on her leg.

"My dad would have to be in the room with us at all times, or we would have to have the door open the whole way in whichever room we would be in, so that he could hear us. That's the only way you could come over, and clearly, for our talk, those circumstances do not fit our needs."

It still had made no sense to her, but she chose not to argue with him. She now had a choice to make; she was either going to go over Edward's house to try to make her own interpretation of how he was like with his family, or she would get the anwsers from the primary source.

"I will do whatever makes you comfortable. If you want to relax at your house then I do, too. If you don't mind having our talk, then you can come over my house. My dad goes fishing early in the morning, and doesn't get back until late at night; he would never know the difference."

He bit his lip, which drew her attention to his mouth. She kept thinking about how wonderful it felt ot kiss him on that blanket.

"I would like for you to come over my house this weekend."

She was in shock, because she didn't believe that her going to see his parents and where he lived would actually be comfortable for him.

"Are you sure that you'll be okay with that?" She didn't want to do anything that would make him feel awkward.

He sighed.

"It's going to have to happen someday, and I'd rather just get it out of the way now." He said.

She took his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb on the back of it. He smiled at her, aknowledging the fact that she was trying to sooth him.

"You're too good for me." He said, kissing her on the cheek. She started to claim that it was he who was too good for her, but the lunch bell rang.

He walked with her to their English class, quieter than normal. She felt bad, because she knew the silence was due to her proposition at lunch. She couldn't help but wonder why he wouldn't want to go over her house, alone. Was he afraid she would try to make a move on him? Did he not want her in that way, if that was the only reason he would be going over her house? He brought her out of her thoughts with a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"You look lost inside that pretty head of yours; what are you thinking?"

"Nothing, I'm just having one of those moments." She replied, sitting down in her seat.

"I understand. If anything's bothering you let me know," He said, giving her his best grin, "I'd love to do anything to make you feel better."

Emmett took his seat behind Edward, rolling his eyes at their talk.

"Edward, you're such a suck up sometimes."

Bella just laughed, because it was true. Although, she wouldn't complain about it. He was her boyfriend, after all.

Her_ boyfriend_.

No, he was _her_ boyfriend. Yes, that was how she wanted to say it. It made it sound so solid, definite. He was hers, as she was his. Though she wasn't quite sure he knew to what extent. She wasn't sure either, because there was still so much she didn't know about him. This relationship was so new that she loved everything about it. The awkwardness that clouded every motion; Should she do this, should she not do that. It was exciting in the way that it was forgien to her. She wouldn't have it any other way.

**AN:**

**Wow, its been two months. It's safe to say I'm unsure that any of you missed me. Haha**

**But I love you all, truly, and if you're reading this I thank you for the faith you have in me.**

**I know this is short, but I wanted to get it out. I'm starting chapter six next.**

**REVIEWS are amazing. They really are. And if you don't even want to review, a Story Alert is also a nice way to show support ******

**Love, Jess**


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